29 September 2014

If laundry matters - I'm doomed. DOOMED.

So on the weekend, because I read everything, I somehow got lost in the vortex that is 'the facebook group full of mums from a certain area' where people were discussing how they do their laundry.

I'm not joking.  Hundreds of participants in this conversation and every single one of them with a VERY FIRM VIEW on how to do their laundry. VERY VERY FIRM VIEWS.

It all started because one woman found out that somebody puts their tea towels in with their bedding or their jocks or something and basically I think they will never eat or drink at the friends house again because the dishes may have been wiped with a tea towel that has mingled outside it's proper place.

And then the discourse spiralled into a long list of dos and don'ts for washing things.  Separate whites from coloureds; towels from lingerie; green from plaid; socks from jocks; hot water vs cold water vs filtered water; softener vs no softener; adults from childrens; sports from suits; girls from boys; delicates from jeans; bedding from towels and so on.  Actually I made up green from plaid.  But you get the drift.
Even I know you hang t-shirts upside down. Der.
Here's how I do laundry.

1. Take pile of dirty laundry.
2. Dump in machine until it's full.
3. Put in powder.
4. Turn on machine.
5. When it has beeped for about four years, take out of machine and hang on line/put in dryer.
6. Repeat until all the laundry done or I die.  Probably until I die because there is always laundry.

In fact I think there is something very inclusive about my washing habits that is represented in my general world view. #justsaying

Of course if there is something a bit delicate like a pretty bra or an Anna dress - I shove it in a lingerie bag.  But nothing more than that and only because ruined bras and Anna dresses will result in tears.  And aint nobody got time for that.

Never tumble dry children. Never. 
And you know something.  It works out fine.  Not once in all my 39.75 years has somebody asked me before they had a glass of wine at my house if it was dried by a cloth that had bathed separately from the wool of a toddler's dress.

Actually, that could be because everybody that visits me is aware that we don't dry dishes.  We just leave them there until we need space to wash some more dishes.

(Unless my mother or baby sister are coming to visit and we know it physically hurts them to see undried dishes so we put them away so they can focus on the state of our floor or the dirt on our skirting boards)

Of course, now that I've confessed to my lack of laundry etiquette people might just bring their own glasses, cutlery and dishes to our place every time they come over but we won't even be offended by that. I mean we really really wont. Because that means they have to take them home and wash them which is completely fine by us.

But I have been mulling over this laundry mania.  I just don't know how people have time to think about such things when there are so many more interesting things to think about.  Like anything basically is more interesting than laundry.  Even the football is more interesting than laundry.

I normally never give laundry any more thought than 'Bugger it, should do some laundry so I have clothes to wear'.  Which if I was my sister would be about maybe once very two years but because I only own four outfits means about twice a week.

Not even joking
Is it just me?  Is everybody else actually obsessed with laundry?  Is this why I can't get people fired up about anything world changing because the only two things that people care about are football and laundry?  I mean they featured a lot on my Facebook feed this weekend?  Is doing our laundry 'the right way' the actual road to world peace?

Anybody?  Am I doomed?  Like really really doomed?

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