23 December 2012

Despair! For the rats-tail flourishes

Its hot.  The background is coloured with the sound of cicadas and the crackling of dry grass underfoot.  The smell is baked concrete and sprinkler mist.  It's a perfect summer's day.  Take a girlfriend, find a bar with air-conditioning and cold chardonnay and a twist of gossip and it's Sunday afternoon nirvana.

Slightly shattered by an ugly reality I'd been hitherto immune to and I've found the revelation somewhat distressing.  Here it is - bear with me as I share this simple and sad fact. (Big breath) In young males of a certain age, the rat's tail has become mainstream.  Small curly ones pasted on the neck, large Billy Ray Cyrus inspired locks, straggly flyaway frizzy ones.  Some coupled with goatees or facial hair I'd have assumed ironic if it was still November.  But nope.

And I try and be open minded.  I pride myself on trying to live and let live.  But I wanted to throw my maxi-dressed self to the ground and wail 'WHYYYYYYY'.  Keen in a proper keening type of way.  Rent clothing.  Tear hair.  Gnash teeth.  These young men in their twenties, handsome faces and otherwise cunningly disguised by a hairstyle that had its day in the eighties and was deemed a failure.  It's been resurrected, embraced, bouffanted. Mocked. MOCKED JUSTLY.

And here I was in hipsville.  Not the 'burbs'. Not the sweltering outer suburbs where flannelette and referring to your partner as 'the missus' flourishes.  My middle class sensibilities and vague aesthetics were being offended in the heart of the city, in a popular bar, frequented by the young and trendy (and older folk such as myself drinking cold chardonnay in air-condition surrounds).

And I despaired for mankind.