4 October 2013

This week I was made redundant

So this week I was made redundant.

The dictionary definition of redundant is pretty harsh - (adjective) No longer needed or useful, superfluous.

So I start with telling people - don't read the dictionary if you're trying to make sense of major life changes.

Don't judge.  The dictionary can be incredibly comforting to a lot of people at different life stages. Especially those of us who like words.  And definitions.

There has been a major restructure, over a period of time, within my company to a new 'operating model'. It's been clear for a while that my role would be one to be 'redefined' in the context of the new world but it doesn't change the 'ouch' feeling when you sit with your manager and have the conversation.

I'm in good company - there are a number of us across the wider Australia/New Zealand market unit who have been affected.  Lots of talented, committed people who are good at our jobs.  It's just that these jobs have been 'redeployed'.  There are lots of words starting with 're' that are bandied about in this process.  And it is just a process, there is absolutely nothing personal in this kind of malarkey.

And there are opportunities within the new world as well which will make some people's redundancies, well, redundant. And those opportunities (ie: other jobs) are available to me too.  But I'm not sure that I'm necessarily going to travel that path.

Because this feels like this major opportunity from the point of definition one (noun) - a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something, rather than definition two (also a noun) - a chance for employment.

And here is why.

1. It's a job rather than a calling (no matter how evangelical I may be about it on occasion).
2. I've recently had a lot of clarity about 'what I really want to do' rather than just doing 'what I am good at'.
3. I am actually quite good at what I really want to do.
4. Change can truly be as good as a holiday because it invigorates the spirit, refreshes the mind.
5. Though, that said, nothing focuses the mind like fear of unemployment.
6. But then, a life lived in fear is a life half lived.
7. And I know that it is better to live on my feet than die on my knees.
8. I know a lot of clichés are currently speaking to me.
9. Which is why they are clichés.  Because they are TRUE.
10. If this isn't the universe giving me a kick up the arse to say CARPE FUCKING DIEM BABY, I'm actually a man named Bruce.

(picture source)
I don't doubt that in the next eight weeks as I work my way through the process of moving from my current reality to another I am going to go from one place to another.  In the past 72 odd hours I have travelled from one emotion to another with the regularity and irrationality of the average hormonal teenager.  You should all definitely be in touch with my beautiful man - the poor guy is probably going to need the support. And the beers. A lot of the beers.

But this is not a decision I make in isolation. I have his full, unadulterated, loving and enthusiastic support for this journey.  Genuinely.  As in pretty much everything I do.  (For the love of god people DO NOT mention the fact that I fully intend getting another motorcycle in this existence). For my girls, this makes no difference.  They only care that we hug them, feed them, and provide backing vocals for their fledging toddler bands.  And give them milk.  They really, really, really like milk.

There are things I'll miss about my current job, but 100% of them are people.  I have made some wonderful friendships in the 5.5 years I've worked there.  But friendships transcend job titles. And we can drink wine, talk bullshit and play Words With Friends anywhere.

And so I end a week that has been a bit of a roller-coaster feeling powerful/excited/terrified.  The world is my truly my oyster, as it has always been (but with a teensy opening of 'HEY WHAT ABOUT NOW AL - GO ON - DO IT*????'.  And by my reckoning I've only got 50 odd years before I die - I've got to get moving right?

Pretty awesome huh?

*I have no clue what IT looks like but it's going to be LEGEN(waitforit)DARY!!!!!