25 November 2013

My brain is full

It's official.  I've got no more room.  I'm full to the brim with a combination of incredibly useful information - like how to pinch an artery in a severed leg and less useful information like the names of all Angelina Jolie's children.

a) hard - until the blood stops spurting
b) Maddox, Pax, Shiloe, Zahara, Vivienne and Knox

In addition to the ridiculous amount of trivia in my brain, I am sitting here watching Q&A and am full of impotent rage about the state of the world and how we don't seem to be giving a shit that we are a country that is regularly, systematically and defiantly contravening our obligations under the UN convention. Yes our country.  We are seriously sucking at being the lucky country right now.  And not just on this issue.  Deep breath.

I worry about my friends and family all of whom have their own journeys at the moment.  And I worry that I don't have enough time for all of them, and I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to work out a solution for each and every one of them.  For those wanting to date - PLEASE let me write your eharmony profile - you are crap at selling yourselves.

I am learning about starting a business and am on a seriously steep learning curve.  I'm exploring my writing.  I have books I haven't read. I am sifting through mentoring. Trying to focus on my achievements. Rewriting my resume and bashing out SOAR statements with the best of them.  I am soaking in jargon because... actually who knows.  Jargon just feels useful when you're out of your comfort zone.

I am conscious that I need to be keeping my fitness levels at a level that will allow me to run an ultra half marathon next May. I'm failing miserably.  Thinking about that takes up brain space.  Beating myself up about it takes a little bit more.

I fill little spaces with articles on how to bring up my children to be functioning adults, despite their parenting.  I read articles on how to be a better partner to my husband and I waste brain space grousing that he's not reading enough articles on the same lines.  And then I get distracted by videos that Adam Hills' makes when he is drunk.

I try to remember bands I like so I can listen to relaxing music and I write lists of movies I'd like to see.  I try and remember what I need to buy grocery wise and I spend an awful amount of time wishing that 'Movember' would end so all the people on public transport with creepy facial hair will go away.  I compose eulogies for people - just in case.  Unfortunately I have a crap memory so I do these things more than once, using up brain space that was already fit to burst.

So I find myself here.

My brain is ready to explode.  I can't be the only one who has a brain that never stops, but I'm assuming that everybody else is thinking more coherently and about things that are inherently much more useful.

Because if we are all walking around with brains like mine.  We are in serious serious trouble.

Just sayin'.