11 April 2014

GAFF - an explanation

I invented a highly scientific acronym known as GAFF.  GAFF ratings range from 1 (being low) to 10 (being high).

The methodology is highly subjective.  Highly.

GAFF stands for your 'Give a f**k factor'.  It is variable and completely dependent on topic, sleep patterns, people involved, time of day, hunger levels and so on. It is also transient. And can move from low to high in a matter of moments.

For instance - house a pigsty, needs a tidy - Meh (1).  People coming over - Hmmm (4). My highly housework obsessive mother or sister are coming to visit - Arrrrgh - HOUSE CLEAN MUST BE DONE RIGHT NOW (10).

Or - house a pigsty, needs a tidy - Meh (1). Urgent deadline for work - Arrrrrgh - HOUSE CLEAN MUST BE DONE RIGHT NOW (10)


I jest but GAFFs are a highly contentious element of every day interactions.  They are the things that lead us to judge ourselves, each other, complete strangers.

Your GAFF can make or break a relationship if it remains non-compatible with your partner's GAFF.  It can cause intense frustration at work.  It is responsible for road rage. Queue rage. Indignant rants on Mummamia posts about the mother who fed her baby with a bottle without publicly outing herself as a bad parent. Your GAFF allows you to pour that glass of wine and watch the TV even though you know you probably have something more important to do.

Your GAFF contributes to your empathy levels. Your sympathy levels. Your performance. Your achievements. Your complete inability to ever master the art of cooking.  It differentiates the Block fans from the MKR fans from the people that don't watch either. Some people have incredibly high GAFFs for personal appearance. Fashion. Possessions. Others find their highest GAFFs centre on sports, art, film, changing the world.

The diversity of GAFFs is incredibly important.  It is what makes life interesting.  But it is equally  important to recognise their changeability.  Today's GAFF might be completely different from tomorrow's.  This years GAFFs unrecognisable next.  And that is the glory of the GAFF.

So be not afraid people to use it.  If somebody is disagreeing with you on a topic - say to them "I recognise you have a GAFF 9 on this, but I've only got a GAFF 3, maybe 4, let's revisit it later or even just agree to disagree"

And because it's scientific - they can't argue with it. It magically diffuses the tension and your world remains a place of love and understanding.

Unless they are evangelical creationists or Andrew Bolt, in which case my friends, you're on your own.




Linking up today people with the delightful Ms Grace