30 May 2014

Beauty is as beauty does

I have thought about this deeply and as objectively as possible.

And it's not tall poppy syndrome.

But I really don't think I'd warm to Miranda Kerr even if I shared an office with her.

And having read in more places than strictly necessary about her ability to orgasm in public places like planes or backstage both alone and in good company, I'd be wary about sharing an open plan office with her.

I definitely wouldn't be shaking her hand.

See there's a double standard that exists here - if Shane Warne talked openly about wanking in public places or at work, we'd all be 'ewwwww icky'.  And then we'd talk about how men are generally gross.

But when Miranda Kerr does it, we're all like that's fine, how risque darlink.  Well most people.  I'm still not shaking her hand until I know she's been to the washroom.

Just sayin'
I'm also not a fan of people that don't own up to being genetically blessed.  She keeps banging on about how if I used her products and exercised twenty times a day, I'd look like her.  But that's bull shit.  I've seen her Mum and her Nan, and my genetics don't have that kind of tall and lithesome any place remotely recently so all the body cream and butt kicks aren't going to change a thing.

She's basically that colleague that turns up, sucks up, puts in the hard yards when management are looking, and spends the rest of the time telling you how you could be as good as her if you know, you were born her.

Frankly, she's annoying.  Especially since she still hasn't got the office manager's name right even though she's worked there for almost three years.

So when I read about that woman having plastic surgery to look like Miranda Kerr I felt completely baffled.  One that you'd do such a thing, but two - with so many beautiful, interesting, kind people in the world, why on earth would....?

Never mind.  I hope you love your new face lady.  And I hope you've got plenty of humour, courage and kindness to make that face truly beautiful.

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