23 July 2014

Talking Frankly's List of Life Hacks

Sometimes working out how to do real life can be complicated.  And everybody has so much advice.  There are pages and pages and pages of books in every language telling you how to get better at life.

I'm breaking it down for you into a one pager.  That way you can print it off, carry it around and be brilliant at everything all the time.

1. If you write a list, and everybody knows that people that accomplish things write lists, start with the point 'write a list'.  That way you've accomplished something and can feel like a winner all day long.

2. If you are unsure what you feel like drinking - choose water.  It's good for you first and foremost but people always assume that people who drink water are massively self disciplined and healthy.

3. All babies look like Winston Churchill at birth.  Honesty is not the best policy for babies. If you are truly struggling for something complimentary to say about somebody's newborn use the phrase 'Bless, looks just like you' to anybody in the room.  Everybody likes to be included.  Even the nurses.

4. Unless your name is on the building, don't take work personally.  It's a job.  Do your best and don't be an arse to other people.  Not being an arse always pays off in the long run.

Ours was more Chairman Mao
5. RSVP.  Just RSVP.  You don't have to have an excuse if you don't want to go, just say thanks but no. If you're going to go, let them know.  Don't be rude.

6. It's better to be too polite.  Scatter the world with Please, Thank you, Excuse me, Sir, Ma'am, Good morning and good bye.

7. Nobody is better than you.  You're not better than anybody. We're all doing our best most of the time.

8. Sorry is not a sign of weakness.  Sorry starts conversations.  If you find saying the word Sorry makes you choke, get therapy.  You have issues.

9. Brands don't matter.  Ever.  Especially not for engagement rings.

10. Laugh at least once a day.  Even if it's inappropriately.  It's good to use your belly for more than food and storing lint.

11. Exercise when you can. Eat well when you can. Don't beat yourself up too much when it doesn't happen.  You're beautiful just as you are.

12. Buy clothes that fit now.  Now matters.

13. Stop procrastinating.  You could be dead before you get around to doing it otherwise.
Big hugs show love

14. Love fiercely. Hate nobody. Hate hurts only you. It's corrosive and ugly.

15. People will talk. People will judge.  Fuck 'em.

16. If you wear a bra, it should fit flat between your breasts; support your boobs so your nipples sit roughly half way between shoulder and elbow; contain no bulging back fat.  If it's a regular wear bra - it's got about 6-9 months life max.  Sizes are irrelevant for bras - fit is everything.

17. Know CPR and carry bandaids.

18. Smile at strangers.  They might be having a bad day.

19. If people are nice to you but rude to support staff, they aren't nice.

20. Money does not make you a good person.

21. Value your friends.  They are the family you choose for yourself and extremely precious. Hold them close and call them.  Yes you. YOU. Just as easy as waiting for them to call isn't it?

22. In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.  Choose wisely.

That should do it.  Now go forth and be happy.  You're awesome.

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