Lordy me - look at me mixing my fashion knowledge with my scientific expertise.
But nobody will ever admit to looking for somebody beautiful. They're all looking for something like a good sense of humour. And you want to know why? Because if you're stuck on a desert island with somebody you're not going to give a rat's bottom how beautiful they are. You'll want them to be funny and a cracking conversationalist to distract you from the looming realisation that you're probably going to die. If they are fatter than you and you can kill them for food to increase your chances, all the better.
No thank you, I will not be your plus one on your next boat cruise around the islands.
That said, sometimes fashion has to be functional. On days like day when Mother Nature forgets it is spring and shakes a bit of winter weather about like a teenager in a pillow fight.
Here I am wearing a black men's jumper (origin unknown) over a black Cotton On singlet, green jeans (I have had them too long to remember where I bought them), a scarf from Scarf Girl (which I won in a competition), and black Doc Marten boots.
I love these boots despite the fact that doing up the six buckles takes longer than dressing the entire family. Possibly because when I put my head that close the ground I'm tempted to just stay there and nap.
Anyway, I digress. I am what is known in these parts as warm.
I'm getting slightly more confident posing I think - look a that jaunty elbow and turned foot. And I named THREE BRANDS above. THREE!
I'm not going to show my hair. Because it looks exactly the same as the last two days. And showing you the same hairstyle for seven days straight might weaken my credentials as a key fashion influencer.
But since the clothes that adorn your body are just to make your inner beauty more comfortable going about in public, you must remember to think beautiful thoughts to make your skin glow, a saucy thought to give your eyes a twinkle and about one of my witty one liners to give your face a happy smile. (Move over Miranda Kerr - I've got this covered too)
So answer me this my clever friends - just how long ago did coloured jeans stop being fashionable? How close am I to being on trend again do you think?
Don't forget to follow Talking Frankly on the social medias