15 February 2013

They say the darnedest things

My toddler is just getting to the age where I recognise that I am never going to know what goes on her head.  I've always been of the opinion that parents are generally the ones that know their children the least, mostly because they assume so much knowledge based on their own input and assumptions.  And let's face it - to assume is to make an ass of everybody. And just for the record, the parents that protest this the most are generally the ones that know the least.  So you can stop right there with your protestations.

And she started sharing her secrets to bamboozling the parentals very early

Yesterday I was working from home and I had to get some stuff done.  The Tullinator asked me to stop working and play with her.  I told her I had stuff to do.  She said 'work boring'. I said 'that is not very polite' and she said 'work boring pweese and tank you'.  Gold.  Comedy gold combined with genius timing.  She's definitely going to be awesome this kid.

And today she starts a conversation with me about how food in her tummy sometimes gets sad because she doesn't have a chocolate frog to share with the other food already there.  WHERE DOES THAT COME FROM?  And of course you can have a chocolate frog if it is to share with the other food.  I'm all for that kind of egalitarian approach to negotiating treats.  But you're not getting a second one.  Not even for the food that missed out sharing the first frog.

And then on the trampoline, she made the Cassinator and I join in this elaborate game involving Nemo, his hat, me the shark, Cass the whale and we all had to make the right movements with our face and hands.  I didn't even know she knew who Nemo was yet - no objections mind, I just thought she was too young to find him interesting yet. And the whale had to blow water out of her head and be big, and I had to show my teeth and keep my fin up.  HOW DOES SHE KNOW THIS STUFF?  Is this what people mean when they say television is bad?  Because it teaches them stuff that you haven't shared with them so you're not ready with the right replies?  And I haven't worked out why Nemo wears a hat.  This is going to bug me.

And you too, now that you know.

I know that children are just little people, but she's not quite 2.5 years old and she's got an entire alternative body of knowledge churning around in there that I only know about as she develops the language and/or the inclination to share it.  And here is me, Mama bear, desperate not to fuck up bringing her up and I'm behind the eight ball already.

And I have two of these beautiful, engaging, thinking, imaginators to get through life.  Thank goodness I got perfect ones, it must be doubly hard if you got one of the ones that are obsessed with sport from birth.  I'm still hopeful we got lucky and I never have to fake an interest in football.  I'm much more comfortable in the faking knowledge about whales, and sharks and the like.  Mainly because I've seen both 'Finding Nemo' and 'The littlest mermaid'.  Fact.


  1. <3 Love it & love Tul. Her Freddo theory is the best ever. I will be applying it to all my meals from now on.

  2. Oh I know this feeling! I look at P (3.5) sometimes and think "Who the hell ARE you!?!". The stuff she comes out with...