29 May 2014

I married an introvert

I did.

On purpose and everything.  Well, I didn't actually seek out an introvert to marry, I just knew he was an introvert by the time I did marry him.  

And I'm an extrovert.  According to Meyers Briggs I'm not a raving loon of an extrovert, but I definitely am energised by other people's company and ideas.  My husband on the other hand, is energised by time on his own. 

The biggest difference between us is that he doesn't do small talk.  Not even a little bit.  He'll say 'Hi, how are you?' and then be perfectly happy to just listen.  Or if the conversation is not grabbing him, he just looks like he's listening.

He's not being anti-social, he's there, he's involved.  Just not loudly.  I have a plethora of introverted friends and they are all the same.  It's just that it's incomprehensible to me.  Especially when we're tired. Then his introverted zoning becomes red rag and I become bull.  (What? I said I was extroverted - not reasonable)

I love small talk - I love finding out about people, what interests them, what they've been doing, anything really.  I love talking to my husband.  Heaven is being able to talk to my husband and a heap of other people.  

I definitely have social touretttes.  I'm always throwing out invitations and agreeing to do things that sound even vaguely interesting just because I enjoy people's company.  In fact, I've been known to agree to do something with somebody I don't even like on the basis of 'Ah what the hell - it's just one night'.  I can't help myself.  The invitations or agreements are out before I can stop them.

Sometimes we drive each other insane.  Being such a compulsive conversation contributor I always worry that he appears rude.  And he always wonders why we went to the supermarket for milk and came home with four new friends and have a social calendar full until March 2018.

It works though.  Because I do need down time and having to factor his need for down time into our lives means it happens to me too.  It's a good thing.  For all of us.

And how does my extroversion impact him? Well, quite frankly, I keep his life interesting.  

Just don't expect him to tell you about it. 

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