26 June 2014

Things I didn't know were things

The great thing about idle conversations is the things you learn that you didn't even know were things.
You with me?  You know when you're like la la la kinesiology, fathers, horses, bowen therapy.  And that's a legit link.  Like a legit legit thing.

Well allow me to add to your dinner party conversations for the next week or two.  Here are five things that I have discovered are 'THINGS' in the last couple of weeks.

1. Bowen Therapy for Horses

Therapy is a hands on vibrational technique to alleviate pain and acute conditions. It's about rebalancing the body and mind.  It's part of the holistic/natural therapies world and I suspect you're either a big believer or not.

That said, I had heard of Bowen Therapy.  But Bowen Therapy for Horses?  I had not. It's officially called 'Equine Bowen Therapy' and is used to promote self healing in horses to bring them back to peak performance and optimal health and wellbeing.

Some people's entire job is providing Bowen Therapy to horses.  True.

If you don't believe me.  Google it.

2. Cat cafes

If there was ever proof needed that dogs have owners, cats have staff - this is it.  I originally thought that it was animal ownership gone completely bonkers and they were going to pay to take their cats to a cafe for a bowl of milk but no.

What it is is a cafe where you can go and have your latte and biscuit and then pay per hour to go into rooms or designated areas specifically to play with cats.  Apparently it's for people that don't have cats or can't have cats. Pay per hour to play with cats.

There are so many terrible jokes and comparisons to be made here, but I'm leaving it alone and just saying cat cafes are a thing and the first Australian one has just opened in Melbourne.  Thus chipping away at Melbourne's 'tray cool' image a little and leaving us more with a crazy cat lady vibe.  But there you go.

3. The Peter Andre Channel

You know you're going to try and find this so let me help you - The Peter Andre Channel.  It's a thing.  There is a whole channel dedicated to pictures of Pete, his new album, pictures of him and some videos of his life lessons and what not.

He's clothed in a lot of the pictures so things must be evolving.  He's stolen Robbie Williams' look from about ten years ago but there is still enough shots of his pecs for the fans dedicated to his true and abiding talent. You can even post your own picture there on the fans page.

Peter Andre has a fan club.  Who knew?  Who who who and why?

4. The Whisper App

It's an app described as the anti-Facebook and a good way to combat cyber bullying.  Basically people post secrets on photos and post them on this app and you can talk with them via the app but preserve your anonymity.  Interestingly it's been a bit of a god-send for people in countries with escalating violence as a means of getting news out anonymously with no repercussions for the person posting it.

Apart from that it's a time waster of no apparent value except realising that people have very different versions of what constitutes a secret.  Being app-curious - I downloaded it and my personal verdict is about 90% of contributors appear to need therapy or new friends and the last 10% should get themselves to an open mic session.  Too funny.

5. Fetish boot camp

If going to boot camp wasn't already a strange and kinky enough obsession, a woman called Madame Anna has set up Fetish Boot Camps where you can do your push ups attached to nipple clamps, have her hit you while you do exercises, wear face masks while you do burpees - all in the name of fitness.

But she draws the line at having smelly feet or holding cigarettes for clients to help them get their fitness on.  She see BDSM as a natural progression for the agony that is boot camp.  And while I'm 100% with her on boot camp being unnecessarily hard work, there is nothing that would make me think 'aha, well if I do some rowing with weights attached to my privates, it'll make the pain worth it.'

And that my friends is why I will never be stupidly rich - I NEVER have these kinds of ideas.  And if you want to sign up to her fetish fitness classes you can jolly well google it yourself.

And that's the end of my little list of things I didn't know were things before I had conversations with other people.  And why some people just stick to the weather when having conversations.  Apparently.


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