24 July 2014

A talent from the very start

I was asked recently why I blog.  I asked why they asked and they said to me "You're a great writer, I love what you write, I just don't know why you don't do real writing?"

I decided to ignore blogging not being real writing and just say "Thank you".  Because I'm almost grown up now. 

I present to you evidence of my real writing.  Circa 1983/84. I was 8 or 9. 

I can't believe I didn't have an agent by the end of Primary School quite frankly.  

All illustrations original copies of original drawings.  Lack of formatting directly representative of original masterpiece.  Spelling as it was.  I think we can all agree I have a good array of adjectives and manners of speech at my disposal. Though less of a comprehensive understanding of reproduction.  

And agents - call me.  

By Alison Farrelly

Yone is a Planet.  It has plenty of life on it.  There are lots of animals on it and people too.  The animals on Yone are completely different from the animals on earth.  For instance, Pin is a kind of snake with 50 eyes.  Zingo Vingo is a horse which has eight legs, with two feet on each of them.

All the animals are strange, extra strange.  The people are very srange.  The men have blue faces and on ehtem, 2 noses, 8 eyes, 5 mouths.  THe women have 4 noses, 12 eyes, 10 mouths.  The young boys have, 100 eyes, 10 noses, 11 mouths.  The girls have 100 eyes, 10 nose, 11 mouths.  Babys have, 9 eyes, 5 noses, 2 mouths.  The houses are made out of a stuff called Tino. doors are made out of Linky.  Chimmneys are made out of Chagoo, winds are made out of Ginkygunk. The grass is pink with yellow spots.  Birds have 900 wings and lay 1000000 eggs in a minute.  The eggs are as big as a new born baby.  ZingoVingos can have millons of babys in a day.  Now I will tell you a story from Yone.  Once upoun a time, there lived a family on Yone.  The sir-name of the family was Farr laa laa singoah.  Everybody called them Mr. And Mrs Singoah.  They had 2 children. 1 was a girl and the other a boy.  

The girls name was Ongidruocamo. The boys name was Omacrudraneo.  They are twins, you see and the twins are 12. Everybody called the girl Ongi for short and the boy Omac for short.  One day the twins came home from Oscape (that is school) and found their Pits very happy. (Pits are parents). "We are going to have babys!" exclliamed Papa. "Great" moaned Omac.  Ongi said to Omac what would you name your baby if you had one?"

"Um", said Omac, "I would name it Fala". "Thats" said Ongi "is a boys name." "I know" said Omac. "I would name it Foco"Ongi. "Girlish" remarked Omac. "Boyish" remarked Ongi. Mama came in and said "Children, you are behaving like two year old Children" "But. Mama" said Omac" "But Omac" said Mama. "Yes" said ONgi. "Ongi" said Mama. "Yes" said Omac. "Rrrrrr" growled Mama. Ongi and Omac giggled, then chuckled, then roarded with laughter.  Mama gave a startled expression and went out of the room.  After Mama had left the room, there was a knock on the door.  Ongi ran out and opened the door, a man was standing there with a robot behind him, then started to speak, "Hello, my name is Mr MerMud and your mother wanted a baby". "Oh yes" said Omac. "Mama, Papa" cried Ongi "Baby time, Mr MerMud is here". "So's his robort" added Omac.  "Oky doky" yelled Mama from the kicthen.  Papa then appeared looking very happy.  "Mr. Mermud eh" he said after looking up and down. "Hey" said Omac "aren't you the baby man?" "Me?" asked Mr.MerMud. "Yes, you" said Ongi, "No" said Mr. MerMud. "Then who?" said Ongi. "Jimka" replied Mr. Mermud. "That's me" beeped the robot.  Mama appeared then holding two babys. "Ma" cried Omac" where did you get them?" "Jimka" replied Mama. "What shall we name them?" asked Ongi. "Fala and Foco" said Mama. "Great" said Omac. "Great" echoed Ongi.  Now the family is happy,  so I better say goodbye. 

The end. 

That my friends is why I write.  I'm totally ace at it. And always have been. 

"Clearly" I giggle, I chuckle and then roar with laughter.  

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